Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Briar Patch Economics

David Roberts, editor at Gristmill, thinks we shouldn't use a Carbon Tax and rebate system because nobody in Washington thinks it's a good idea except most progressives and a few conservative columnists playing B'rer Rabbit and the Briar Patch. (see "Carbon tax is a poison pill")

""I guess I'm going to be barbecue this day." Brer Rabbit sighed. "But getting barbecued is a whole lot better than getting thrown in the briar patch." He sighed again. "No doubt about it. Getting barbecued is almost a blessing compared to being thrown in that briar patch on the other side of the road. If you got to go, go in a barbecue sauce. That's what I always say. How much lemon juice and brown sugar you put in yours?"-from mythfolklore.net

Yeah, those poor conservative shills or the Coal'N'Oil industries suddenly want anything but "Cap'N'Trade."

On Noes!! B'rer Obama! You gots us now and we know we have to change our coal burning ways. We'll do whatever you like just don make us deal with a "Cap'N'Trade"system; oh my think of the paper work.

Now B'rer Obama he knows how tricksy Coal'N'Oil can get and he surely is tired of getting kicked by them so he thinks he just might toss 'em in a sack of Carbon Tacks where the more they kick the more they get poked. Yep, it's a little bit of the hike over the hill to the shed where he can get a good strong sack and them Carbon Tacks but to be rid of Coal'N'Oil he jus might do it'. Yer gone git the Carbon Tacks in a nice tight sack he tells Coal'N'Oil.

Coal'N'Oil he surely don't want no Carbon Tacks in a nice tight sack so he thinks quick looks around and sees the crazy Sierra Club bird hanging out on a nearby tree limb. Throwin his voice he sings out like it's the Sierra Club bird... "Give 'em to the Carbon Off-sets" he sings, "they'll tear him to pieces and starve him to death those Carbon Off-sets will."

Well those Carbon Off-sets will fill my mouth with fur, bite me like a thousand house-flies and tear out my nails but surely that will be better than throwing me to the Cap'N'Trade system. Whatever you all do jus don' throw me there.

B'rer Obama thinks about this and decides that Carbon Off-sets won't hurt nearly enough and tell's Coal'N'Oil it might be fun to tie Coal'N'Oil up in front of his pump house and feed everyone who comes up to the pump house door with Sun-power seeds, Wind-turbinados and Geo-powershakes that he's going to pay for with Coal'N'Oil's tab down at the treasury. Coal'N'Oil let's go a mighty shudder and sings out.. "Well that's a relief because for a minute there I thought you were going to throw me to the Cap'N'Trade"system where I'd be cut to pieces by all those long Wall Street knives."

We all know how this story is supposed to end but remember what happened when California tried to throw Coal'N'Oil's big Uncle Enron into the Power'N'Trade system which was pretty much the Cap'N'Trade system with free drinks and skittles. Uncle Enron managed to steal California's paycheck and the deed to the house on the way in and things haven't gone right there since.

If B'rer Obama listens to a word Coal'N'Oil is singing or the confusion caused by the voice throwing and wailing by the Wall Street ravens who rely on Coal'N'Oil to feed them a steady supply of dead and dying economies to feed on the rest of us are sunk. It will be way over four years before anybody gets their hands around Coal'N'Oil's throat again because nobody's gonna trust B'rer Obama if he screws this one up and it could be twelve years of doing nothing useful before the winds blow the right way again. We played this game with B'rer Clinton and health care and people are still paying for that bungle.

Push the carbon tax now and rebate now and structure it so the first rebate checks arrive in mailbox's March 2010 and there won't be a whimper from the GOP. Nobody complains about their Social Security checks arriving despite the fact that THAT'S an income redistribution system. A per capita rebate system advantages the very people the GOP would try and rally against any kind of carbon fee; the rural middle class. I'm pretty sure that given the choice between God in the pulpit and Mammon in the mailbox they'll choose mammon.